Before you decide to Divorce, consider these steps
You meet, fall in love, imagined a life together with maybe even some children and a family pet! Forever is what you told one another. Of course, you never imagined a mutual respect and love for one another could transform quickly, spiral quickly into a dysfunctional relationship. The decision to divorce is often irreversible, therefore consider the below before taking the next step.
Ask yourself if you have done everything you can to make the relationship last? You meant your vows and owe it to yourself to explore whether or not a divorce is the best next step, or only step forward. Have you poured yourself 100% into the relationship, setting you up for success? Or are you expecting the other person to read your mind or “want them to want to do the dishes”? Hint- no one wants to do the dishes, I promise! Have you both tried couples counseling together, or therapy independently?
If you truly feel that all efforts are exhausted, to no avail, then the next step is toward the future. Are you okay accepting a lower standard of living? There is a misconception that you don’t have to, but keep in mind that the same income will soon be split between two households, not one. Both of you likely will experience a lower standard of living. Meet with a financial planner to evaluate your options and understand what potential settlements would look like.
It is normal to not be 100% clear on your financial situation, but now is the time to. Begin gathering your financial documents so you are fully informed. It’s key to understand how much money you will have, your living expenses in this next phase of your life. A financial planner or CDFA™ can be a valuable resource for you during this process.
Build out your divorce team and support network. This will undoubtedly be one of the most challenging things you face in your lifetime. It can be painful, and last 6-12 months, or longer. With the courts backed up from the pandemic, litigation can extend the process simply due to the challenges of getting on the courts calendar. Find your support network- family, friends, support groups. Surround yourself with people who will love you, support you without judgment. You deserve this and will need this support. You owe it to yourself and children.
You will get through this. One day at a time, one step at a time. There will be days you don’t even want to get out of bed, but time will heal. There is a light at the end of the road.
